WWF Parenthood
by Coyote-Baybe
Summary: The WWFers have Kids???? What would that be like? And through their children what will they lean about the WWF? * based on the WWF, before having a warning label.*
1. Do you want your food to bark, moo, or c...

WWF Parenthood By Hollyann Binion  
  
***Disclaimer: I do not own Matthew Moore Hardy, Amyia Christine Dumas(Lita), Jeffery Nero Hardy, Patrisha Irien Stratigas ( Trish Stratus), Stephanie Mcmahon, Scott Levy ( Raven *I'll be using personna and name of Raven), Rob Szatkowski( R.V.D.*well be using RVD, personna too*) Stacy(stacey) Keibler, Adam Copeland(Edge*well be using Adam w/ Edge personna a bit*), or Victoria Wilson(Tori*torrie*). I do however own their children. I also do not own Kurt Angel.* Kurt loves milk, that SILLY American gold Oympicist* Also I do not own Jay.. * I don't own any WWF, ECW, WCW wrestlers, don't sue me or I'LL go OYMPIC on YOUR Butt.  
  
Note: I'm not the best speller or typer, and I'm to lazy to edit.  
  
***Note: The views or opinions expreseed in this FICTIONAL piece, may or may not reflect those views and opinons of the author. The fact is I do not believing in censorship, I believe fully in obtaining free speach, but remeber your rights end, were the next man's begin. Although it was smart of the WWF to start caution commercials and waringing clips, I never beleived stood on the side of THOSE radical parents. Don't like what you see, turn  
  
off the TV. This fic, was based before such censorship began.(R.T.C.- the humor)  
  
Pairing* If you don't like my couples deal with it I put up with EVERYONE'S Jeff/Amy, Amy/KURT?, Jeff/Matt, Adam/Matt( I like that) and so forth so you'll just have to deal with me.  
  
****Couples****  
  
---Matthew and Amy Hardy-Kids Cameron Moore Hardy/ Christina Morgan on the way..(depends of gender)-Maita( Ma-eat-a) Faith Hardy(2 yrs).  
  
---Jeffery and Trish Hardy-kid (son) Bralie(bur-ray-lee) Nero Hardy(3 years).  
  
---Raven and Steph Levy-expecting twins-(boy&girl)- (boy-)Bronze(bronnie) Patrick and (girl-)Sylver(syl-pronounce seal-) Marie Levy.  
  
---*DIVORCED* Rob and Stacey Dam/ Keibler(I didn't want to use his real last name.) -kids (boy-)Robert Kennith(5yrs.), (girl-)Bailey Rain(2 years- ), and (girl-) Morlie Gean(10 months).  
  
--- Adam and Torrie Copeland-kid-(girl) Abreahnna(a-bre-anna) Shore Copeland(4yrs).  
  
Note: I know I'm evil. But you like me.  
  
Matt: Stop.Stop.Stop. Amy tell it to stop.  
  
Amy: No, it's funnier this way.  
  
Their two year old daughther Maita was behind him on the couch, playing with his long curly black hair.  
  
Maita: Daddy your hair is pretty.  
  
Matt: Aww...thanks.  
  
Maita: It's prettier than momma's  
  
Amy: Hey you. Stop playing with daddies hair.  
  
Matt: Jealous?  
  
Amy: What you take as a compliment, I see as an insult. She's calling you girlie.  
  
Maita just beemed, she was oddest child. She was full os so much character. Think about it, if your kid hung out with the poetic freak Jeff, the humoruosly self centered RVD, the "above all" attitude of Steph, the " I'ma tough girl, I can do anything better than a man, don't piss me off, personna of Amy, with Trish's girly-ness, and Matt's twisted sarchasim....what do you get? MAITA...  
  
Amy:Matt can you cook dinner tonight.  
  
Matt: Can Ah?  
  
Amy: Don't get cute with me Hardy.  
  
Matt: Ah will. You've lived in America for ten years now, and you still can't get it right.  
  
Amy: Well that's cause I've lived in Cameron North Carolina for most of it! Ya' recon?  
  
Matt: That is not EVEN funny.  
  
He took her hand and pulled her down to set with him on the couch. Maita sat on Matt's left side.  
  
Amy: And as for you.....  
  
She pointed to Maita who was hidding behild Matt.  
  
Amy: I don't know why you talk the way you do.  
  
Matt: She is a dadda's girl.  
  
Maita: Damn skippy.  
  
Amy: What?  
  
Matt: I didn't teach her that.  
  
Amy: I know....Maita who taught you that?  
  
She spoke in a high pitched voice...like she didn't know.  
  
Maita: Uncle Kurt...He's an Amewincan Gold Medalist. He said drink milk.  
  
Matt: That's disgusting.  
  
Maita: I like Uncle Kurt, he's my Amewincan hero.  
  
Matt: Oh no he isn't.  
  
Amy: Matt...shhh....it's cute. At least SOMEONE likes kurt.  
  
Maita: Your silly daddy...Kurt says so.  
  
Matt: Don't say says sweety....you sounnd your mamma.  
  
Amy: I stopped saying says a long time ago.  
  
Matt: Don't me break out a home video.  
  
Matt and his damn videos. That was all he to keep himself buisy. He had decided to take some time off from wrestling to be with Amy and Maia, therefore Jeff also took time off. He wanted to go back, he missed the people, but he didn't know how to tell Amy.  
  
Maita: Can ah make dinner daddy? Pwease.  
  
Matt: Sure angel pie.  
  
Maita: Okay, moma, daddy, go warsh up.  
  
Amy: You didn't make dinner yet babe?  
  
Maita: Ah did to. It's waiting at McDonalds.  
  
Matt: Their cute at this age. Ah can't can't wait for number two.  
  
Matt kissed Amy stomach. She just giggled. She had never met a man like him before, she was MORE than glad she married him.  
  
Amy: Well in a couple more months well have our lil Christina.  
  
Matt smiled and took both her hands to help her up.  
  
Matt: Cameron....  
  
He corrected her.  
  
Amy: Sure why not well...name our daughter Cameron.  
  
Matt: Ah'm gonna have a son.  
  
Maita: Ah wanna name the baby skittles.  
  
Both: No!  
  
Amy: That was Jeff's idea and if he wants to name his next kid that then he can.  
  
Matt: Come here pumpkin.  
  
He picked her up and carried her out to the van, Amy followed behind. He loved his daughter without a doubt. He called her pumpkin a lot and it fit. She had Amy's red hair, they keep it long. She had Matt's large brown eyes. Then there was that beutiful smile sat apon that perfect complextion. Matt's full lips, Amy's toasted complextion. She oddly had Jeff's ears. Those little ears.  
  
Maite: McDonalds! McDonalds!  
  
Matt: Calm down mia.  
  
That made Amy smile. Mia, spanish for my little one. It was amazing how their two paths have crossed and their child embodied them both. She spoke spanish and english hick. Matt was working on spanish...working.  
  
Maita: Daddy there it is.  
  
They pulled in next to a very formillar car. As they walked into the playland, two people were arguing.  
  
Adam: YOU do.  
  
Abreahna: YOU do.  
  
Adam: You.  
  
Abreahna: You.  
  
Adam: You reak.  
  
Abreahna: Ya' of "awesomenisity"  
  
The child spoke with attitde, that only her father, Adam could have instilled into her.  
  
Adam: My daughther the coolest.  
  
Matt: Hey man.  
  
Adam: Hardy!!!!  
  
The two hugged like it had been years.  
  
Matt: Man I miss you.  
  
Adam: I just got back, the tour was brutal.  
  
Abreahna: And bottom feeding and trashed bagged....  
  
Torrie quickly put her hand over her daughter's mouth beofre she could finishe Jericos famous line- "disgusting, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag, hoe."  
  
Amy: I think our kids hang out with wrestlers to often.  
  
Torrie: You know it.  
  
Amy sat with Torrie to chat...like they didn't see each other all the time they lived in the came complex, along with Steph and Raven, Rob, Jeff, and Trish. Stacey had moved out. Your probly asking..." Why would SUPERSTARS live in a complex?" It wasn't like a "normal" complex. Stephaine had them built..can you say five pent houses with one PO box. Steph and her money. Well this way it kept them all close...  
  
Amy: Have you guys ordered yet?  
  
Torrie: No, we were really just meeting Adam here, he just back from Wreslmania week.  
  
Amy: How was it?  
  
Torrie: Speculation is flying.  
  
Amy: How so?  
  
Torrie: Who's coming back and who isn't.  
  
Amy: Well who?  
  
Torrie: The fans Miss Matt, Amy. The peole want a Hardyz return, you included.  
  
Amy: Torrie I can't. I'm seven and a half months BABY.  
  
Torrie: I know, but what about the boys?  
  
Amy: It's up to them.  
  
Torrie: I guess your right. It's gonna be a coldest Wrestlemania in the history of sports entertainment.  
  
Matt: Ladies lets go order.  
  
The two families went to the counter.  
  
Matt: Mia what do you want?  
  
Maita: I don't know daddy?  
  
She had a puzzled look on her face.  
  
Maita: Hmmmm....  
  
Matt looked down at her.  
  
Matt: Do you want your food to go moo, cluck, blurp(fish), or other..well go  
  
with bark.  
  
Maita looked confussingly up at him.  
  
Adam: Matt!  
  
Adam got down eyes level to Maita.  
  
Adam: Sweetie what he means is....before they shot you food, put it in a food processor and fry it up. Do you want it to moo, cluck, blurp, or bark.  
  
Maita eyes got really big.  
  
Amy: You two are horrible. Babe do you want a cheeseburger, chicken nuggest, fish sticks, or a hot dog?  
  
Maita: Ah want something that doesn't make noise.  
  
Matt: Salad it is.  
  
Adam: what about you Abreahna? Cow pattie on a bun? Chicken diced into bite size portions? stick like fish particles? portions that may include dog in the form of a link?  
  
Abreahna: Dog.  
  
Torrie: I'm so embarrased.  
  
Adam: I've taught you well young "Edge head"  
  
Torrie: You totally promised not to use your ring name in public.  
  
Adam: And you promised to start waxing.  
  
Matt and Amy just acted as if they heard nothing.  
  
Torrie: I want a divorce.  
  
Adam: No you don't, scrorch cakes, stop saying that.  
  
Torrie: Ha, ha, ha.  
  
They finally finished placing their order and sat down to eat.  
  
Maita: Is not.  
  
Abreahna: Is too.  
  
Abreahna pushed Maita on her butt.  
  
Maita: Ahh. Don't make me go oympic*refering to Kurt* on your tush.  
  
Abreahna: Kurt Angel sucks.  
  
Maita: He does not.  
  
Tears whaled up in her big brown eyes.  
  
Maita: Uncle Kurt is my oympic hewo.  
  
Abreahna: My daddy said he sucked.  
  
Maita: Well my daddy, will give your daddy a "Twist Of Fate"  
  
Abreanhan: Well my daddy, will give your daddy, a spear. Besides your daddy can't wrestle.  
  
Maita looked hurt. She was young, but for some reason she understood. She walked back over to the table and tugged on Matt's shirt.  
  
Maita: Daddy...  
  
Matt: Huh? Why are you crying?  
  
He picked her up and sat her in his lap.  
  
Maita: Can you still wrestle?  
  
Matt was shocked, he didn't really think she had understood what he did. Matt looked over at Amy.  
  
Matt: I can.  
  
Maita: Good. Kick his butt.  
  
Maita pointed to Adam.  
  
Matt: He is my best freind.  
  
Maita: You hurt him before.  
  
Matt glanced at Amy.  
  
Matt: We ALL need to have a seriuos talk when we get home.  
  
Amy: What started this mia?  
  
Maita: Abreahna said daddy couldn't wrestle and she said Kurt...Sucked. He doesn't suck Adam.  
  
Adam: I....well...I said that on TV. We do need to have a talk..ALL of us.  
  
Maita: She pushed me down too...but what she said was worse.  
  
Adam raised his voice at this point.  
  
Adam: Abreahna..That does not reck of awsemness. Get over here.  
  
Abeahna came to the table with her head down.  
  
Torrie: That wasn't very nice of you.  
  
Adam: Yeah, that was totally un-cool apologize.  
  
Torrie: Why would you do that?  
  
Abreahna: I thought it was ok to do when your mad.  
  
Matt and Amy just looked at each other, sadly they knew where this was going.  
  
Adam: Why would you think that?  
  
Abreahna: You and Mommy do it. And auntie Stacy does it, and Rob, and uncle Jay. Everyone does.  
  
Torrie: Everyone doesn't do it.  
  
The four parents just looked at each other.  
  
Amy: I didn't know it was this bad.  
  
Matt: Is it just our kids?  
  
Torrie: think of all the kids out there?  
  
Adam: We need to do something...that Vince should have done a long time ago. 


	2. Honey, Play Nice With Your Father

WWF Parenthood By Hollyann Binion  
  
(Chapther 2 Parent meeting)  
  
*** Disclaimer: I do not own any WWF superstars used in this fic, not fo I claim to be affliated with the WWF. I'm just a fan, don't blame me it's the TV's fault, I'm so addicted.  
  
Author note: The views and opinions in this fictional story, may or may not reflect those of the author. I'm to lazy to edit and I'm a horrible typer, but all the same please enjoy!  
  
  
  
Jeff: Your cheating.  
  
Bralie: Ah am not.  
  
Jeff: You are ah saw you, ah saw you cheat.  
  
Bralie: Ah don't want to play with you anymore.  
  
Jeff: You have too... You don't have any freinds.  
  
Bralie: You scare them all away.  
  
Jeff: You annoy me constantly.  
  
Bralie: You totally annoy me.  
  
Jeff: Finish the game.  
  
Bralie: Ah don't want to.  
  
Jeff: Ah don't care what you want you have to.  
  
Bralie: No ah Don't.  
  
Jeff: You do to and ah'm your father, so you have to.  
  
Bralie: Your not my father.  
  
Jeff: Trish!!  
  
Trish: What do you want I'm making pie.  
  
Jeff: Am an Bralie's father.  
  
Trish: Yes retard, I told you he was when I got pregnate.  
  
Bralie: Why mom?  
  
Trish: Just be nice to your father and play.  
  
Bralie: Mom..  
  
Jeff: Trish...  
  
Trish: No that's it, I've put my foot down, I'm baking pie and you will behave.  
  
Jeff/Bralie: Okay.  
  
Jeff: I want a new son.  
  
Bralie: I wanna new truck.  
  
Jeff: You wanna alot.  
  
Trish: Boys!!! The pie!  
  
Bralie: It's not like we're upsetting the pie, or anything.  
  
Jeff: Bralie your mom is crazy.  
  
Bralie: Are you sure?  
  
Jeff: Yeah she married me and look what your wearing.  
  
The Hardy youngster looked down at pants, tan slacks and a white shirt with a blue vest over it.  
  
Jeff: If I had dressed you, you wouldn't look like a member of the Mean Street Posse.  
  
Bralie: Dad..change me.  
  
Jeff: Cool.  
  
They both run to the closet.  
  
Trish: Touch my purple velvet curtains and die. And know you can't have anymore of my pant house, and don't go to Matt's.  
  
They retreated back from the door.  
  
Jeff: Damn it women.  
  
Trish: What? Damn it what?  
  
Jeff: Nothing you bake pie.  
  
(ring)  
  
Bralie: I got it.  
  
He ran to the phone.  
  
Bralie: Hello, my damn women of a mom is making pie and my dad's crazy, what ya want.  
  
Matt: One weekend, if ah had you one weekend, you'd be normal.  
  
Bralie: Uncle Matt! Can ah come over.  
  
  
  
Matt: Not right now lil dude, Maita's taking a nap, YOU should be taking a nap. I swear one weekend.  
  
Bralie: Ah don't wanna be all normal.  
  
Matt: Give your dad half pint.  
  
Bralie: Dad Matt's on the phone, he said you need to take me to his house right away. They have donuts.  
  
Jeff: Donuts.  
  
Trish: You are not leaving this house.  
  
Jeff went and picked up the phone.  
  
Jeff: Hey what's up?  
  
Matt: Hey bro, alot. It has come to our attention, that our kids don't realize we're actors.  
  
Jeff: Sure they do.  
  
Matt: Ah don't think so.  
  
Jeff: Wait a minute. Bralie!  
  
Bralie: Yeah.  
  
Jeff: So how would you feel if ah went back into wrestling, beat up Matt, hospitalized Adam, and left Trish , so she starts dating RVD.  
  
Bralie: Dad, why would you do that?  
  
A confussed look came into his eyes.  
  
Jeff: Ooo...well ah'm not going to ok.  
  
Bralie: Dad, that is weird, ah'm gonna go outside and play now.  
  
Jeff: Maybe they don't realize it.  
  
Matt: See..our kids think that when we fight in the ring, we are really fighting, therefore we don't like each other and they think it's ok to hurt others because of it.  
  
Jeff: Wow....what about...  
  
Matt: Ah know are young viewers. We can only hope that their parents have taught them well enough to know, but we didn't teach our kids.  
  
Jeff: Ah just never thought about It ah guess. Ah thought Bralie would understand.  
  
Matt: Ah know I just figured that Maita, would get it too, but honestly when we are on TV, were not that clear cut about what it is that we do.  
  
Jeff: Right we don't jus' say were preformers.  
  
Matt: Ah think we should find a way to stress that, ah don' wanna be resposible if a lil' kid gets hurt.  
  
Jeff: Gee..man me neither.  
  
Matt: So, family meeting tonight after Raw.  
  
Jeff: Yeah..Matt..what are we gonna do?  
  
Matt: Something, cause ah wont let my child believe things to be this way, that violece is "OKAY" and that everyone does it.  
  
Jeff: We'll it figure ou' , don' worry man. 


End file.
